happy anniversary!

…Happy anniversary baby
Got you on my mind
Happy anniversary baby
Got you on my mind…

[from Happy Anniversary, by Little River Band]

Preston and I met in late August 1992 – by pure fluke. He was 17, just about six weeks away from 18, and I was 23. I’ll save you the gory, boring details, and just say that he took me to lunch. Deli sandwich on a Kaiser roll, fries, and rootbeer, at least that’s what I had. Back then, on campus, everybody lived on breadsticks and sodas from The Grill; getting an actual meal was a real treat. But I kept telling Preston that he was just too young for me – and I was still married at the time, to boot.

:skips ahead:

We lost contact some time around my birthday in 1993. He came to the apartment one night, said he was leaving, hugged me – and left. I had no idea where he was going. I had no idea how to contact him. Nothing.

:fast forwards ahead to Christmas 1994:

I was filling out Christmas cards – not that I had many to mail, but still, it’s a habit I got into a long time ago and haven’t ever outgrown – and I had this overwhelming, all-consuming, crushing feeling that I had to send Preston a card. Had to – or else, and I wasn’t about to find out about the “or else”. So I went on a rip and tear trying to find his parents’ address. I sent him a tiny card with a Christmas tree on the front. (I get him a card with a Christmas tree on it every year now and have since we got back together) He didn’t call me – he came to see me. And again, I’ll spare you all those gory, boring details.

:skips ahead:

We never started a “real relationship”, although Preston had wanted one all this time, until I found myself living alone in late August 1995. And then, I had issues, and we ended up moving in together during the first week of October. I moved to him – in with him and his parents in Harlan County. It was strange at first. But this was the first real family I’ve ever belonged to. It took a lot of getting used to. We lived there together for four years before we packed up and came to Lexington (May 1999).

May 1996, Preston called me one afternoon – I was living up here in a horrid arrangement I’d made that didn’t last very long (thank the gods); I moved back to Harlan in early July. “What would you do if I asked you to marry me?” he asked. I burst into tears. He laughed. He said, “I’ve not even asked yet. Sheesh!” :heart: He came up not long after that, his parents in tow. They all trooped in, his parents long enough to say hello before leaving to go to the mall to get out of our hair (his mom knew what was going on; his dad didn’t – he almost plowed the car into a telephone pole on Nicholasville road when he found out).

Preston gave me a simple sterling silver band as an engagement ring. I didn’t care. It could have been the Hope diamond for what it meant to me, and still means to me. When his parents came back, we walked across the parking lot to Unos for our engagement lunch.

:skips much ahead:

Six years ago today, we had our Gwyddon wedding. Hunter came in from Washington State to be “official High Priest”, to do the ritual for us. (sometimes I think it would have been more perfect, but even more surreal if W had been the HP – but he and I weren’t speaking then. :sigh: (that’s a whole ‘nuther story!)) The day was much like today – 75*, overcast, with severe storm warnings. By the time his parents arrived from Harlan, rain was pouring in sheets from the sky. We had everything ready to go, and guests had dropped by to bring cards, gifts, and well-wishes off and on all day already.

But we had to rush out to Kroger to get some food – and the cake! The rain was falling so hard, that in the mad dash from our front door to the car, we looked like we’d paraded around the shower with our clothes on for about half an hour. We dripped through Kroger. By the time we got home, lightning and strong winds had joined into the mix. I thought it was beautiful – and it so fit mine and Preston’s collective idiom!!

In front of a small group of people (and a terrific black labrador named Lazy), we shared our vows. We both spoke vows we wrote specifically for each other. Following is the crux of what we promised each other:

We two souls bound together, may we come together to nourish, cherish, and inspire each other as one breathing, solid entity of godlike images, in honor of the Creator. (here, whomever was speaking placed his right hand on the other’s heart) I, [Gwyddon name], with hand and heart, do take thee [Gwyddon name] for my wedded mate, my husband, my lord, to bear to thee true faith and all love, for now and throughout all Eternity. Nothing can part us, save lack of love; not man nor woman, dark nor light, death nor life. Hear me gods.

We wrote personalized vows to each other – and neither saw nor heard them until we spoke them at the ritual. I was a teary mess after Preston recited his to me!

Then came the ring exchange. “This ring, this never-ending circle representing our lives, and the Circle of Life, Death, and Rebirth, which we’ve gone through many times…[ring placement]…And from now until the ned of time I give my life to you in the Name of the Goddess and God.” (Gwyddons mean Kerridwen the Great and Kernunnos when we say “the Goddess” and “the God”, not some all-encompassing generic deity)

After this followed the purely Gwyddon exchange of adding various items into our “troth box” and the tying of the Yarns of Union. Hunter said a beautiful blessing and invited everyone to join in the “feast” following the ritual.

Outside, lightning crashed, thunder rolled, and the rain still poured. It was a beautiful day! We’ll never forget it.

And today, on our sixth anniversary – on a Saturday, just like the day we were married – by a fluke, Preston’s getting off work early because the warehouse is shutting down for half of the day. When he gets here, we’re going to rush out for a bit of celebration. Lunch at Max & Erma’s.

Feeling: silly, tired, giddy, :warped:
Listening: the computer fan

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destination apex, saturday, august 5th

http://www.apexdigest.com/destination.shtml

When: Saturday, August 5th, 5:00PM-8:00PM
Where: Destinations Booksellers
Where Again?: Google Map showing New Albany, Indiana
Address: 604 East Spring Street, New Albany Indiana 47150

We’ve had some requests for hotel information. Here you go:
Holiday Inn
Hampton Inn
Mansion at Riverwalk
Admiral Bicknell Inn

Apex Science Fiction and Horror Digest and Destinations Booksellers are proud to present Destination: Apex, a large celebration for the fans, contributors, and friends of Apex Digest.

Planned events
* Author Signings
* Artist Signings
* Apex Editor Harassment
* Schmoozing
* The New Albanian Brewing Company has determined to christen a dedicated beer brew for the event: “Destinations Apex Pyramid Nectar.” They will also cater the food.
* Writer readings
* and more!!!

Promotion for this event will be heavy. We’re hoping for a good crowd. See the website for confirmed guest writers/artists.

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thomas and mari update

All this running around and telephone calling is giving me a headache …

Anyway, I got my CT-angiogram rescheduled. That’s for Monday, August 7th at 2 in the afternoon.

And then, Thomas goes back to see Dr Goebel on Friday, September 22nd at 9 in the morning.

I’m on the telephone right now with Debbie. She’s going to see what appointments for me she can schedule for me that Friday – medical or labs – and then I’ll have to go back on the following Monday for follow-ups.

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thomas and mari update

So, we’re home. Yesterday was a long day. I didn’t sleep well the night before, and gave up around 5am; I got up at 5:40. We hit the road and were at the hospital at 8am – an hour early, but it was to our advantage, really. At the elevator in the parking garage, we all tore off a “reminder slip” – so cool they have those – so we would remember where we’d parked; that’s the biggest, deepest parking garage I’ve ever been in!

On the main concourse, Jan, David, and Thomas went around to Nephrology, and Tayler and I went to radiology. Because it was so early, Tayler and I went straight back. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to have my CT angiogram due to my iodine/seafood allergy. The radiologist said someone should have spoken with me about that when the appointment was made. She did, however, go back to talk to someone about me taking a mega-dose of Benadryl (which they’ve had people do before) and seeing if I could get squeezed into an appointment later in the day. Unfortunately, the only other opening they had yesterday was for 10pm – which, if we’d been staying over until today, that wouldn’t have been a problem. :( So, she wrote me down a list of instructions and the phone number so I could make another appointment. What a bust! On the upside, however, the contrast was going to be done via IV – I don’t have to drink the icky stuff!!

We went out to the main concourse to one of the information desks (there’s one at the entrance to each building), and I asked where we could find vending machines or a cafeteria or something. The guy smiled and pointed down the hall. “Keep walking,” he said. “You’ll find a food court on your right.” Food Court? “Sweet!” Tayler said. Forward we went. Along the way, we passed this little grocery store type place – it had a teeny-tiny Starbucks inside. Tayler wanted coffee. No. He’s the last person who needs coffee! But the food court! I almost fell over. There was a pizzaria, a Mexican place, something else that I can’t remember, a salad bar, and a Gold Star Chili. Down the middle was a breakfast buffet (which became a huge salad bar at lunch). We got trays and attacked the breakfast buffet. I got a stack of pancakes and a ton of scrambled eggs; I was starving from not being allowed to eat (can’t eat for several hours before a CT!). Tayler got sausage and two biscuits and gravy. A sign on the wall of the dining area said it holds up to 565 people. This isn’t counting the outside seating area, which was beautiful; it reminded me of a small park. (it was inexpensive, too! i fed us both for $6)

So, after, Tayler and I wound our way back around to the main concourse and down to nephrology. We didn’t see Dr. Goebel because he’s at a transplant seminar, but we saw Dr. Dixon. Thomas hadn’t grown nor gained weight; and here we were all certain he’d gotten taller than me!! :harumph: His blood pressure is still terrific – 102/68 – height and weight still the same as it was June 5th. Dr. Dixon was a gem; he wrote out the prescription for the Predisone I need for my CT angiogram – now I won’t be out for a doctor’s appointment just to get that done. He had Thomas’ usual blood draw done, and we all sat around talking about the imminent transplant and introducing ouselves to Dr. Dixon (we’d not met him before). He’s a young doctor and very kind.

From there, we went upstairs for our consult with Dr. Alonso, one half of our surgery team. She’s awesome and made us all feel at ease with both surgeries (mine and thomas’), even though Thomas slept through most of the discussion (poor kid!). Even though I knew this, she explained how we’d come to the hospital butt early the morning of the surgery. I’d go in first, and while I was in, Thomas would be prepped. If my body is able to do it this way, I’ll have two small incisions and then a bit larger one – just big enough for Dr. Alonso’s hand! I asked her about my c-section scar because that’s something that had been on my mind since almost day one with all of this. She said that it shouldn’t be an issue, even with it being a long vertical. That lifted a weight!

At the end, I asked her where she’d found her green ribbon lapel pin; I’ve been looking for one for five years. She said she couldn’t remember and took hers off her nametag and gave it to me!

The meeting with Dr. Alonso ran over, so we rescheduled our 11am meeting with Debbie for 1pm. Then, we went to lunch – in the food court. I shouldn’t have, but I had Gold Star. I’d not had Gold Star in a while, so it was more like a treat. Tayler, being himself, forgot to buy a drink and had to go back through the line! Silly.

At one, we went back to the complete other side of the hospital to Nephrology to see Debbie. Most of the stuff she talked about, I already knew – mostly from all the time I’ve spent on the livingdonors.org website, the kidney.org website, UNOS, and such. I’ve done a lot of research and networking since ’01. I know more about the inner workings and function of kidneys than anyone ever needs to know! But we mainly discussed the medications Thomas will be on post-transplant and what happens if I’m unable to be a living donor.

We did find out that if I’m unable to donate, because Thomas is still under eighteen and therefore considered a child, he will go to the top of the donor list for a cadaveric kidney. But if this happens, as we knew, it’s likely he might have to go on dialysis for a while before a kidney becomes available. Too, we found out that if I am able to give, if for some reason I ever need a transplant, I go to the top of the list for a cadaveric kidney.

For all of that discussion, I was glad David was there. He needed to be; he needed to hear what Debbie was telling us, especially about Thomas’ medications. For example, Thomas will be on Prednisone for life post-transplant – plus a slew of other medications. (Me? I’m pretty much given a pain reliever, some antibotics, and told “Thanks!”)

At two, we went up into another building for the anesthesia consult. The waiting room was cool – they had these strange consoles that had Playstations, X-Box, etc, built into them for the kids to play with. Overall, I think that was the easiest appointment all day. She basically explained to Thomas how the anesthesia worked and what would be going on before, during, and after his surgery with that. And, like everyone else, she asked him if he had any concerns or questions. I’ve been under three times; it’s really no big deal to me.

And at five was Thomas’ psychology consult; that ran right around ninety minutes. And if we weren’t tired when we went in…Mercy. This was all mostly background. David and I had to fill out a wad of paperwork the night before on Thomas’ early development. I had to call Preston and have him get down Thomas’ baby book! I knew he did everything ungodly (or seemed like) early, but then at a point, his development slowed. He was held back in 3rd grade because, like me, he has trouble with numbers – and he has reading comprehension issues. I have the same problem, but not to the large degree that he has. He can sound out a word and get it mostly right, but at the same time, he can read something, look at you, and not have any idea what he just read, or what it mean, or what it was about. He does better if someone reads to him.

The biggest thing about this consult is to make sure that the child receiving the kidney is going to be able to keep up the responsibility with taking his medications and understands what a great responsibility it is. The doctor wanted to get some alone time with Thomas, but we ran over; so I look for that to be something they do next time we go back up there. He’s likely going to be getting some extra counseling through his main psychiatry doctor in Casey County along with a medication re-evaluation. (Thomas calls his Abilify is “anger pill”; every time he’d say that yesterday, I’d crack up.)

So, that’s that. We pulled out of the parking garage headed home right around 7pm yesterday, dog tired and frought with information overload. Dr Goebel will call Jane with the results of Thomas’ blood draw later in the week when he’s back into the office. Dr Dixon said that he wanted Thomas back in the office in six weeks. He wanted next month, but Jane is going to be in Connecticut all through August, so that was out.

I tried to call Debbie today and kept getting the voicemail at Nephrology, but I left her a message; she never called back (unusual, unless she calls back tomorrow morning early). If she’s not called by 10am, I’m going to call her back so I can set up my appointment for my CT angiogram and see if there’s anything else at all I can have done while I’m up there again. Kathy and Ralph said they’d take me back up there to have that done.

Here are pictures of our adventures.

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