1. You walk into a crowded bar. How do you introduce yourself?
“Hi, my name’s Jeremy. I don’t drink alcoholic beverages. In fact, I don’t even drink soda. Or tap water. I’m not sure what I’m doing in here. So…uh…anyone up for a game of scrabble?”
2. (depends on the question to #1)
3. Have you always been so unique?
Back in my larval stage, I was quite an ordinary little glowworm. It was after my metamorphosis that my uniqueness seemed to shine.
4. In what ways do your special uniqueness bleed into your writing?
Aside from the fact that I write everything using my own Type-U (Unique) blood, I do give myself a lot of creative freedom when it comes to writing. For example, I’m not afraid of writing a serious story that includes a peanut shaped like comedian Jim Gaffigan’s head. The boundaries that are important to me concern psychological feasibility.
5. Your most prized, favorite book is burned or otherwise destroyed. Do you hold a funeral? How long do you mourn?
I would hold a funeral, and I’d probably scatter the ashes in Cucamonga. The first few months would be the worst, in terms of grief, but I think part of me would always be in mourning. Especially in the mornings.
6. If buttered toast isn’t really buttered, then what is it?