breaking up is easy to do

I really should have posted this Wednesday after I got home from the doctor, but I was so tired, I didn’t care, and went to bed in lieu of doing anything else. Even with the Prozac, the least little stress still wipes me out (therapist and reading both suggest it’s probably the ADHD that does that to me more than anything – I get overstimulated and basically just shut down). Thursday I couldn’t tell anyone what my name was and just sat there all day because Thomas was in a mood.

And yesterday – Well, yesterday I was on the road all day. I reserved a car online at 11:30 and left home just before 1 to pick it up and was on the road to Harlan by 3ish. Got here at 6:30, and we went straight to supper at Ken & Paul’s. Home at 8:30, and I finally got to stop moving.

Needless to say, I took my sleeping pill at 9 and was dead to the world not long thereafter. I’ll be going out soon to roam around and take pictures and stuff.

Preston stayed home from work Wednesday to go to the doctor with me, but he didn’t go into the exam room with me. The way things turned out, I wish he had. I could have asked for him, but things happened so fast I never really had a chance.

The nurse called me back, and apparently she will be my regularly scheduled nurse. She was fantastic. She listened and took notes and went over my history sheets with me. When the OB/GYN came in, she did the same. I’m not used to medical staff being that attentive to me – to Thomas, yes, because Cincinnati Children’s Hospital is excellent, but to me and my own person, it’s rare.

My blood pressure was 156/85, so it seems to be going back up again – although after the last two months, I’m not surprised in the least. The Prozac and being calm/er had actually helped in driving it down. Thomas’ attitude doesn’t help in many ways. I have lost four pounds since I saw my therapist in January, according to the OB/GYN’s scale; she strongly recommends tossing the analogue scale and replacing it with a digital (are digital scales cheaper than they used to be?).

OB/GYN and I discussed my trip to the UK ER at the end of January, and she pulled all of my records, and we went over those. She asked me how the Provera had treated me, and I told her, which was the truth, it drove my blood pressure up and made me feel nauseous. She said the nausea likely came from my blood pressure being so high. We discussed me starting back on the Provera – she didn’t like that the ER doctor had only given me enough for ten days – long enough to stop the bleeding and keep it under control so I could go back in and be fitted with a Mirena. I told her due to my past experiences with birth control, the idea of a Mirena scared me to death. She explained that with the Mirena, the drugs stay localized to the reproductive system instead of traveling all through your system like a pill. That made me feel a little better. Still wasn’t happy with either the Provera or Mirena idea.

She made a bunch of notes while we talked, and then said that the only thing the ER hadn’t done that day was take a biopsy of my cervix (they had done a PAP, though), and she wanted to do that – it’s required before a Mirena can be fitted anyway. She also told me that these days you pretty much have to have raging cancer before anyone will do a hysterectomy, so she was covering all her bases with the biopsy. We discussed more and more of my family medical background and my own personal medical background.

Then came time for me to do the whole “strip below the waist” bit, and the doctor stepped out of the exam room. Now the Provera had done its job at making me stop bleeding, but over the last week, I had spotted a little bit. Before I had left home – traveling on the bus to downtown – I had inserted a tampon just to be ‘safe’. And good thing I had. When I pulled it out, two clots the size of my hands plopped onto the floor. I was horrified. But at the same time, grateful, because the doctor could see what I had been telling her.

The OB/GYN and nurse came back into the room and were absolutely horrified. I did my best to impress upon them that was nothing compared to the mess I’d been in in the ER. They were appalled. The doctor looked at me, looked at the mess, shook her head, and said, “You know, I’ve never had to do an emergency Mirena insertion, but you’re not leaving here without one.” The nurse and I heartily agreed! They got me cleaned up, and the nurse went out for the Mirena kit, the OB/GYN did the biopsy, and then she inserted the Mirena.

After she left the room, I tweeted, “Word you don’t want to hear your gynecologist say: ‘unique’.” This is what, in part made her make that comment: Abnormal vaginal bleeding. Most of the rest was because of the way my ovaries lay against my uterus. And another part is that my cervix apparently is staying dilated. Of course the whole cervix part is why I bleed like a water faucet and why I have so much pain (and likely where a whole boatload of my pain during sex comes from!) during my period.

She was pissed off that the ER let me leave ‘in this condition’. I said, “Oh, this is nothing! This is normal.” I thought the woman was going to have an apoplexy. She hugged me and said she was sorry nobody had gotten off their asses and helped me long before now. Her exact word was ‘ridiculous’.

I got off the table and cleaned up, signed my permission form for the Mirena, and we talked some more. She said she certainly agreed whole heartedly with me that I couldn’t continue to live in this condition. She also was concerned that the Mirena might not stay in place. They have a 4% discharge rate to begin with. But she said with the condition of my cervix and with as heavy as I bleed, she looks for it to dislodge and told me to keep an eye out for it.

I called the nurse yesterday morning before I even started to plan to come to Harlan. She is having the surgeon’s nurse call me back. I don’t know when that will be. But it’s up to the surgeon what type of fix this problem will take. I don’t really like that. I feel like an ablation would be a temporary fix for a lifetime of problem. I suppose we’ll see what happens when I see him.

I see the OB/GYN again on Wednesday. She wants to make sure the Mirena is still in place and take a better look at my insides since the bleeding has stopped. She prescribed me Hydrochlorothiazide for my blood pressure. It’s a diuretic, and I’m familiar with it as it’s one of the medications Thomas takes. She said she’s doing to monitor my blood pressure and my anemia. Of course, I’ve got to get my iron levels up before I can have any kind of surgery. I started taking my ferrous fumerate every day instead of every other day – and upped my magnesium intake. So far I’m okay, but we’ll see how it goes.

I’ll let everyone know what she says next Wednesday and make a post after I find out when I’ll be seeing the surgeon.

And hopefully I’ll stop going two weeks between blog posts!!

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Author: Mari Adkins

Appalachian gothic fiction writer - my works reflect a love of literature flavored by the darkness and magic residing in these ancient mountains. In my spare time, I'm a Simmer, I tumbl, I journal, but I always have a very strange sense of humor. I have lived away from the mountains and lived deep in the mountains. I currently live in Central Kentucky with my lifepartner and his cat. The mountains, their culture, their superstitions, their particular magics, will always be in my blood.